Book More Doula Clients: Sales Psychology 101 for Birth workers
Why 'Yes' Is Overrated: The Secret to Booking More Doula Clients
Have you ever heard a potential client say *“Yes, I’m interested!”* during a consultation, only for their excitement to fizzle out when they ghost you or simply don’t follow through? It’s frustrating, right?
What if I told you that *yes* isn’t the win you think it is? In fact, it might actually be holding you back. That’s right—*yes* is overrated.
Today, we’re diving into sales psychology to explore why pushing for a “yes” is killing your consultations. I’ll show you how shifting to a trust-building approach can help you book more clients and create lasting relationships with women who are truly ready to buy. Let’s uncover the power of “no” and the magic of “that’s right.”
Why ‘Yes’ Falls Short
Here’s the hard truth: *Yes* has been overused, manipulated, and stripped of its power. People have been conditioned to fear it. Why? Because agreeing to something can feel like a trap. Think about how many times you’ve said *yes* to avoid conflict or discomfort, only to regret it later.
When you’re pushing for a *yes* in a consultation, it might feel like you’re making progress, but in reality, you’re setting the stage for hesitation, doubt, or even buyer’s remorse. That’s not how trust is built.
Imagine sitting with a mom considering hiring you as her doula. She’s overwhelmed and unsure. If your focus is solely on getting her to say “yes,” you’re skipping the crucial step of making her feel *seen* and *understood.* Trust isn’t about quick agreements; it’s about connection.
The Power of ‘No’
So, what’s the alternative? Lean into no.
Here’s why: Saying *no* feels safe. It gives people a sense of control. When you give potential clients permission to say no, you lower their defenses and open the door to honest conversations.
Let’s take a toddler as an example. Toddlers love saying “no” because it makes them feel in control. The same principle applies in consultations. By framing questions in a way that allows for a *no,* you’re empowering your client to feel secure.
Try flipping your usual questions:
- Instead of, “Would you like to move forward?” ask, “Would it be crazy to think this might work for you?”
- Instead of, “Do you agree?” ask, “Do you disagree with that?”
- Instead of, “Are you ready to hire me?” ask, “Are you against having the kind of support a doula can provide?”
See how much lighter that feels? When someone says “no,” they’re in control, and that’s when meaningful dialogue begins.
The Magic of ‘That’s Right’
Here’s where the magic happens: The ultimate goal isn’t “yes” or even “no”—it’s “that’s right.”
“That’s right” is what someone says when they feel deeply understood. It’s the moment they realize you truly get them. When a client says “that’s right,” they’re not just agreeing with you; they’re affirming their own thoughts and feelings, which builds trust and connection.
How do you get to “that’s right”?
1. Listen deeply. Let your client share their hopes, fears, and concerns.
2. Reflect their words. Summarize what they’ve shared in your own words. For example: *“So, what I’m hearing is that you’re feeling overwhelmed by the unknowns of postpartum and you’re looking for someone to help you navigate your new normal. Is that right?”*
3. Pause. Give them space to absorb what you’ve said. That pause is powerful.
When they say “that’s right,” they’re not just agreeing—they’re telling you they feel seen and understood.
Actionable Steps to Transform Your Consultations
Ready to put this into action? Here are three steps to try in your next consultation:
1. Flip a Yes Question into a No Question: Reframe one of your usual questions to give your client the freedom to say “no.” For example:
- Instead of, *“Are you ready to move forward?”* ask, *“Would it be unreasonable to think this might be what you’ve been looking for?”*
2. Practice Reflective Listening: Pause after your client shares something meaningful. Reflect back what you’ve heard and ask, *“Is that right?”* Look for that moment of connection.
3. Embrace Silence: After asking a question or reflecting, resist the urge to fill the silence. Let your client think. The insights they share during those pauses can be transformative.
The Key to Lasting Connections
Doulas, it’s time to stop chasing “yes” and start building trust. By creating space for “no” and aiming for “that’s right,” you’ll transform your consultations into meaningful conversations that leave potential clients feeling seen, understood, and excited to work with you.
If you’re ready to take your consultations to the next level, grab my free resource:
Doula Consult Fails: 3 Questions You’re Missing. This guide will help you ask the right questions, build trust, and book more clients—without ever feeling ‘salesy.’
